"Each man has a song and this is my song." (Leonard Cohen)

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Return of the Outlaws aka Mexican Gold (Walker/Cable Productions, 2007)

Low-grade TV Western

This is a petty crummy made-for-TV Western with low production values (the kind where a boom mike is seen wobbling overhead or a shadow of one on a wall) and dodgy acting.

It’s supposed to be about some gold shipped from Mexico to Texas which various hoodlums are after. The bad men are brutal and the good men are stupid. In fact there’s the dumbest ever sheriff (Corbin Timbrook); even when told what’s going on, he just stands there looking puzzled. Doh. The chief bad man is a portly John Castellanos, very Spanish looking. There’s a crooked judge (Michael Gregory), the obligatory whore with a heart of gold (Samantha Lockwood) and little kid (Shane Ryan Savage) and so on. No one memorable anyway.
"The day they will never forget." You'll forget it though.
The cast are all lesser-known TV actors. The star, Lorenzo Lamas, had been, aged 10, an ‘Indian boy’ in 100 Rifles, a fun Western of 1969.

Return of the Outlaws was written and directed by someone called Chuck Walker, which I guess is a pretty Texan name.

It was at least filmed in Texas and not Spain. But I suppose these days filming in Spain would be more expensive than Texas.

They hi-jack a very handsome Wells, Fargo stage coach, all shiny red like a child’s idea of a fire engine.

That’s about it, really.

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